There's no "easy" way to do this, so I'll just lay it all out on the table - I'm back with E.
I know.
I know what you're probably thinking.
I don't expect any support in what I know is a bad decision. But, it is what it is, at least for right now. I wasn't going to post it, but in my effort to be honest and keep an accurate record, I changed my mind and there it is. It got kind of ugly for a few days, back and forth emails, he never said anything ugly, but I was just extremely hurt, feeling insane, and lonely as hell. Add in to the fact that I may have been carrying his child, even for a short time. I have a bond to the man, and he has one to me, I think. I hope anyway. He has convinced me that he knew about me checking his phone, and about the fake emails. It may be incredibly naive, no wait, stupid, of me, but for now I'm accepting his explanation.
It's very comfortable with him, and we have some really fun times. We just spent a great 4-day weekend together. This may not be "it" for the long haul, but damn it, I want to have some enjoyment. I need to feel loved right now.
I was talking to a friend tonight who will remain nameless for her protection (LOL), and she put it really well...the head knows one thing, but the heart feels another. Or something like that. :P And it's very true.
So, again, no expectation of comments of support. If you feel like virtually smacking me, I understand, LOL.
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6 comments:
No smacks from me. Just be careful. And don't close yourself off to new things.
Gosh, I admire you for writing this down so open and honest!
Sending you some long distance smacks :-)
Tanja
No virtual smacks but lots of concern and I share Tanja's admiration for your honesty. Be careful.
Smack.
LOL OK now, if you're going to smack me that's fine but at least tell me who you are. :P
Okay I might have to virtually smack you but I understand where you are coming from. If I had someone to love me right now, I would probably be doing the same thing.
Just dont get too caught up in him and like Annie says here, dont close yourself off to something new. Sari, you are an incredibly bright, beautiful young woman and you could get any man put your mind to. Seriously.
Email me or PM me anytime oay?
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