Luckily it wasn't at the widow board, but at the kidney failure board. I was a very active member there for the whole 18 months Joe was on dialysis, very open with my feelings of what was going on. I really didn't censor myself. A few days after Joe died, I had posted about his mom annoying me with stupid phone calls and demanding an autopsy from the funeral home. I was venting, but I said I knew it was her way of grieving. I post updates to that board every once in a while, and I went back to check and saw that his brother had joined and posted. He wrote very nice things, that he was glad I came into Joe's life, he was grateful for all I did, and he was sorry for his mom's stupid phone calls. I felt really bad for writing what I did. I emailed him privately and told him so, and that I loved his mom, all of them really. He didn't respond to the email but he's been a little busy (as I will explain in the next posting.) As nice as it was to read those things from him, I also feel very exposed. I never expected anyone to find that board and like I said, I was very open with our daily life and my emotions. I almost feel like they will judge me for things I wrote. I don't think it's anything too bad, but occassional complaining about Joe, like normal married people do. They probably won't judge me, but I still feel vulnerable about it.
I would be devastated if they found this blog. Way too much personal stuff on here.
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Sara, I got so many people reading my blog, my brother, my inlaws, god knows who. I do not really care about it anymore. Sometimes I just write not such nice things, as they do not such nice things to me. I bet he understood, maybe even your MIL understands.
Shit happens. And it was the biggest shit of all for you and for your inlaws. That is when emotions flare up high from both sides.
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