Difficult weekend, it's really over with E now

It had been like 5 days since I had talked to E, and I assumed it was over.

He called me Friday, around noon. He was all nonchalant, said he was calling to wish me a happy 4th of July. I was shocked but tried not to show it and said thanks, you too, and goodbye. He called again a few hours later, he had some movies, would I like to come over and watch them? I asked him, what is going on? He said we should talk face-to-face about it. I told him I'd have to think about going over there but I really wanted an explanation, so later on I went over there. He said he was really angry at me before, and that if he had spoken to me, it would not have been civil and he needed time to cool down. He asked me about my trip. We spent the evening together. We spent Saturday together. Saturday night, late, I asked him did he really see a future in this, considering all the issues that we are facing (age, religious differences, the dogs - mainly the dogs) and basically he said he still felt the same way, that he would let me make the decision to end this or not, etc.

So this morning, I ended it. We were holding each other, it was so intimate and warm, but I told him that I think we need to part as friends. We both deserve to be happy and pursue something with a future, and neither one of us should have to be unhappy. And that I wasn't just thinking of myself, it's BOTH of us. And that I cared so much for him, and I would like it if we still talked and saw each other once in a while but I would understand if he didn't want that.

So I got up to leave, he sent some food with me (we had cooked the night before), then started pulling other things out of the fridge, some juice, some Jello things (it's a long story) saying that the fun in these things was sharing them with me... It's a little hard to convey the significance of this but wow it just ripped my heart out.

We kissed goodbye several times, he walked me to my car, hugged and kissed again, I told him don't forget me, and he said you too. Then we waved goodbye and I drove off.

Now I'm sitting at my mom's, just finished telling her what happened, and I'm crying. This just sucks.

I feel so bad. I feel bad because now E is going to be alone again (no family in the area), I feel like I need to take care of him. As insane as I know it is, I feel bad that I didn't compromise enough to make this work.

I do love him, I have a great affection for him, and he's become a regular part of my life, but I knew this was not a healthy relationship to be in, and I knew this was not going anywhere. Somehow it doesn't make this easier though. Ugh....this is really hard.