And he calls...

He called just now, acted like things were normal, called me sweet names and even said he loved me. I told him I can't do this with him - either he's in my life, fully, or he's out. Otherwise it's too painful. He didn't seem to like that but told me if I wanted to talk sometime to give him a call.Oh, how I want to. I want so badly to pretend everything is OK. But I know it's not, and I have to be able to get through these roughest times so I can move on. It makes me sick to think of moving on right now, but I know I have to.This is so very similar to when Joe died. I developed a history with E, we had shared memories, inside jokes, vacations taken, pictures posed for together... all of this to be taken away because he doesn't want dogs!!! And I feel like such a hypocrite because he's probably thinking the same things about me - that I'm taking all this away because of some dumb dogs.Right now I even hate my dogs (really I love them, but you know...) because "they" are standing between me and happiness. And yet I know it's not really them, it's that this just won't work with E. I just wish it didn't hurt so much.