Hard to accept being happy

It's like, things are going really well at the moment, have a guy friend thing going on that is looking really really promising, life is going OK, and yet I can't stop thinking things like I'll get to know him just well enough and then he'll die or I'll die, or I'll be in a horribly disfiguring accident, or something. Some mornings I think, damn if something happens to me today I'll be so embarassed that people will see my messy house. In a way I feel like I'm cursed. The quote I use in my signature at the widda board: "... joy and sorrow are inseparable. . . together they come and when one sits alone with you . . . remember that the other is asleep upon your bed." ~Khalil Gibran , at first it comforted me, now it's like it's taunting me, yeah just get a little happy and then tragedy will rear its ugly head again.