A good day means you wipe the french fry salt off your hands BEFORE changing channels on the remote.
Speaking of salt, your 4 food groups now consist of salt, grease, alcohol, and pills.
You haven't seen the bottom of your car's passenger seat in months (and haven't needed to.)
You avoid phone calls and visits from the few friends you have left, because hearing about their great lives makes you feel even more of a pathetic loser.
Your dog, garden gnome, and dead grandmother all have more active social lives than you do.
When you have EXHAUSTED your local Blockbuster's resources. Seriously. I have watched every movie worth watching from there. If I get desperate I may have to venture into the kids' section, but I'm hoping to avoid that.
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